Today Connor is 17 months old. It's hard to believe that he is almost a year and a half. I imagine him running around and getting into everything; throwing toothbrushes in the toilet and chasing after Stumpers (our 8 year old miniature dachshund). How I wish I could be frustrated with the ornery little guy rather than wondering what he would be like right now.
It's been quite a year and a half. I miss Connor so much and continue to have breakdowns, but not as frequently. I am able to get through a day and feel joy and happiness. There is still that place in my heart that is broken and I'm learning to live with it. The joy and happiness is often mingled with sadness and anxiety. This is a constant struggle but something I'm learning to balance. I believe it's okay to feel a number of emotions all at once. I guess that's just the way it is.
So...as we honor Memorial Day, I thought I should honor my son as he is 17 months old today. Remembering those who have passed on but continue to teach us new lessons everyday.
I love you Connor, and you continue to be a blessing in my life.
Your Mommy
Monday, May 31, 2010
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I think of your Connor every time I think of mine. This post makes me think of how much you wish you could know your angel at 17 months and how at 17 months I was telling mine good bye. Without them 17 months seems like forever but the 17 months I had him seems like a day. I continue to pray for your healing. Our Connor's are playing in Heaven together. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteConnor came to play with us on Wednesday. Take a look at the picture. *hugs*
ReplyDeletehttp://havasu-angels.blogspot.com/2010/08/kellys-connor.html
thank you. that is so sweet. thank you for remembering my little man.
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