Mason James Arrived, Connor is a Big Brother!

I wanted to do this much, much earlier but actually bringing home a newborn is quite a bit of work! Our house has been filled with happy sounds; crying, cooing and little sneezes. It's pretty amazing the range of emotions I have felt since we brought Mason home, including the guilt that comes when feeling so frustrated (which is exaggerated by the sleep-deprivation, of course). Overall we are very happy to have Mason at home and we tell him about his big brother Connor. Sometimes when Mason smiles in his sleep I believe he is dreaming of his brother.

I thought I could share Mason's birth story. He was delivered at Memorial Hospital, where Connor lived for seven days. We decided that we wanted to be where there was a NICU and Connor had such wonderful care so we felt safe delivering Mason there. I was supposed to go in for a scheduled c-section on January 10, but my body decided to go into labor a little bit early and Mason was born on January 9. So we had an emergency c-section, which I still felt good about but was disappointed that I still had to experience labor pains and contractions.

I am actually thankful that I went into labor because the only thing I could focus on was getting through the contractions while waiting for the surgeon to arrive. Yes, this was during the huge snowstorm in South Bend so I couldn't get an epidural until the surgeon got there. However, this was not fun for Jim; that sense of helplessness was washing over him and he was working hard at holding it together. He did wonderfully.

Right away we told our nurse what happened with Connor and that we were pretty scared and probably going to cry alot and she said that she would cry right along with us. When the surgery started Jim was right beside me until they pulled Mason out so he could watch. Mason started crying right away and it was such a wonderful sound! Jim went over to be with Mason while he was assessed and cleaned up and one of the nurses stayed with me and told me everything that was going on. Afterwords, Mason laid on my chest and we were wheeled over to recovery. Mason was awake and alert; he was trying to hold his head up; he had tears; and he latched on right away! And by the way, he's been a great eater ever since!!!

During our stay at the hospital we kept a picture of Connor by our bed so Mason could see him. The nursing staff was phenomenal and every single nurse we had knew about Connor before coming into the room and validated his beautiful life and our experience. It was so wonderful to have a positive experience filled with so much joy!

Before we left the hospital, we took Mason to the NICU so he could see where his brother lived for a short time. We took a picture with Connor's doctor by the artwork that was donated in memory of Connor. I was wheeled out of the NICU with Mason in my arms and that's the moment when everything hit me. I remember what it was like to walk out of the hospital with no baby and a broken heart and this time, I got to leave with a beautiful little bundle of boy and a happy heart. I still miss and love Connor so much and I always will. I like to believe that he is watching over his little brother who he is so proud of and visits him in his dreams! I love my boys so much and we are so blessed!