Proud Mama

So it's Mother's Day today. And of course, it isn't an easy day but it hasn't been all bad either. I have been dreading this day for awhile now so Jim and I decided it would be best to get away and celebrate...and mourn...in our own way. We went to Chicago; had some good deep dish pizza; and walked through Millenium Park. Jim gave me three beautiful roses...two red and one white; so simple but so precious. He is such a wonderful and thoughtful husband.

I wanted to write about more than just my anxiety about this day. I am also a very proud Mama too. When Connor passed away we were told that there were some organs that were still very strong and could be donated so we decided to donate his heart (it was so strong!) and tissue. His heart valves could be used to help a child who has a congenital heart defect and his tissue could be used for a burn victim.

We received an invitation for a Remembrance Ceremony hosted by the Donor Services of Indiana in honor of the loved ones who donated. This ceremony was held on Thursday and Jim and I decided we would like to go. It was lovely. There were pictures and letters posted of all of our loved ones who have passed but able to live on to help someone else someday. Beautiful music was played and kind words were read. A young man spoke about his traumatic experience that lead to a need for a tissue donation and how thankful he was. 150 names were read while a candle was lit for each. When Connor's name was read we both stood and Jim walked to the front to accept a Certificate signed by the US Surgeon General honoring our son for his gift. It was such a great honor to be there and remember what a strong little boy he was and how I hope that that strength will get passed on to someone else. I am so proud of you, Connor!

So today is filled with mixed emotions. I am so sad because I see all these wonderful Mother's being honored, but no one knows that I am a mother. That I have this beautiful little boy who was so strong and so perfect but just couldn't live on Earth anymore. Instead I am passed by. But I am a mother and though I am so deeply sad, I am prouder than I could ever be. Because I have a beautiful son who was able to give a part of himself to help heal someone else.